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One cool thing about the destruction of the extended family / social safety net is that now that we're all isolated and alone, pyramid schemes and direct selling scams have dropped way off.

I've got that Friday feeling! (I'm in the mosque, praying)

It's so wild how animals have such differing and unique personalities whilst humans are literally identical and all just want to drink expensive hot drinks from artisanal earthenware cups.

Getting all my talking points from Twitter so that when I'm called upon to defend pedestrianising the high street at the parish council meeting all I can do is call the concerned pensioner in opposition a grill pilled elon stan cuck pseud

Why the fuck are academic texts passed around as fucking pdfs. They're so hard to read. Why can't they just be text. Whyyyyyyy

In 2034 you'll be able to buy a blazer which looks like you have a Kindle sticking out of the hip pocket but when you turn it inside out it'll be just the top 3cm of one that they've cut off and sewn in there.

In the UK we have something like the golden hour but here it is the opposite: everything looks grey, desaturated and lifeless. Also it doesn't last an hour it lasts forever.

Techno people think you can have someone saying literally anything in a German accent as a sample.

March 18th: Children will be allowed to be sad in schools
May 9th: Legal to be sad without someone saying "haha lockdown blues"
June 21st: Sad in pubs and restaurants
Unconfirmed, but it may be possible to feel sad on holiday later this year.

Take time out with your partner to work on your Australian accents together, forging a strong bond.

Spending literally every second of every day thinking "surely I deserve a treat..."

Lockdown is the perfect chance to work on your australian accent.

Mastodon is like Twitter except every post has a computer acronym in it.

How come no matter how depressed you are it is always possible to fire up an image editing tool and write some text on an image. Could be a cure for depression in this if a scientist investigates.

*Unmuting mic and leaning into the laptop* Uh, yeah, can you hear me? Yeah ok-cool. So, nothing matters and I don't care about anything, that's all from me for today.

What happens to your soul after you log off. Like where does it go when you're not on computer anymore.

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