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Star Trex S7E4, the crew are in orbit around planet Toj, attempting to find out the length of a religious ritual called 'The waiting list' when a traveller from the distant future arrives to give them a dire warning about the fate of Toj itself and its leader; D'rew

Just promise me that when I keel over from a stress induced heart attack none of you ever mention that I did a lot of exercise and ate a lot of vegetables.

The new Mountain Goats album is out. To celebrate I (world expert in the band The Mountain Goats) will be taking any questions about The Mountain Goats.

When people talk about phones being bad I keep saying "Look dude I was alive in 2008 no one was writing any novels'" but then I remembered that like, to some degree, I was.

I played a bit of Transistor last night. Does it not irritate anyone else that it seems like you can't just hit people with the sword?

Last time I got coffee I nearly got mugged (I'm fine) and now I don't know if I like coffee anymore. Could be a big development for my brand (Coffee, inescapable psychic damage) so stay tuned.

I need to quit Instagram but its the only way to communicate with Brands I Value.

To offset my carbon footprint from my recent trip I will be dead for the rest of the year, See you in 2020!

I have gone into nature now, I love to be in nature.

I'm in Browns fashion / shopping brown's fashion / dropping that cash on / those Stan Smiths with Raf on

One question every guy wants the answer to:

"Will I get jacked before I go bald?"

If anyone gets rained on whilst on their bike in the next few weeks sorry, my bad, I just removed my mudguards and spent three hours meticulously cleaning my bike.

Whenever I make a bad coffee I make sure I tell people and I make a bad coffee every single day.

By age 30 you should have worked out which shoe you're going to wear everyday for the rest of your life

Having good hair is a career ender for software engineers.

"Podcasts, listened to by millions whilst being largely total garbage. But what drives podcasts to be so crap? Join me as we use archival documents, recorded interviews and investigative journalism to discover exactly why...Podcasts Are Shit"

Print me a t-shirt that says "i sincerely like my moustache"

I let them take a photo of me for the office and I look bad in it but I didn't ask them to retake it because I feel like not caring about how you look is something only people who actually look good can do

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