belateral @belateral@mastodon.care-tags.org

If Avril Lavigne was a real punk she would want to dismantle heteronormativity and as such, yes, she could make it more obvious than simply stating "He was a boy, she was a girl" which would go some way to acknowledge the plurality of potential couplings.

The labour they require to prepare is rooted in patriarchal/monarchist norms and recipes including them are essentially a tool of the establishment

Its 2019 and some of you need to GROW THE FUCK UP ad LEARN that BRUSSELL SPROUTS ARE NOT REAL!! They were literally invented in the 1600s by farmers to sell small cabbages, which is why they taste EXACTLY THE SAME.

Half-life is about having a job

Male feminist praxis is taking your jumper off in the cross armed inside out way until women's bodies are desexualised enough to allow them to accidentally flash midriff in public.

In 2021 the first thing you'll do in the morning is complete a quick, five minute mental calisthenics routine to prove you're human for the next 24 hours. Probably reciting Nabokov or measuring involuntary dilation of the iris.

The only way to prove you are human is to do things the bots can't do, doing things the bots can't do teaches the bots how to be more human, meaning you have to do more work to prove you're human.

In 2019 the only way to prove you're a human online is to train AIs for the largest technology company on the planet. You literally cannot. access. services. without. performing. this. free. labour.

TED talk voice: Who's ever been here?
*slide of a body dissolving in a bath*
Now, what if I told you that I haven't dissolved a body in acid for ten years...all thanks to one, groundbreaking app
*slide of flames engulfing body*
fire
*audience held rapt*

99% of nerds who think they have a personality learned how to be a human from watching TED talks and continually talk about 'context switching'

Cycling in the rain? Yeah I have waterproof overtrousers. DESIGNER WATERPROOF OVERTROUSERS.

Apocalypse Now remake but person journeying through snowed up and malfunctioning British transport system to get into the office where I'm the only person in, sitting cross legged on the boardroom table, powerpoint slides projected onto my face.

Uniqlo U? More like Uniql No thank U.

I think it'd be really funny if when I was dying I was like 'take my hand' and then when they tried to take my hand I pulled it away and gave them the finger.

Your man stands staring, immobile, really near the DJ for the entire Boiler Room stream.

Standing desks are a refusal to accept your situation. You are not a body, you are a function. Allow your form to slip away, suspended on mesh and foam.

Fucked up that I'm super clever but the only use for it is writing python scripts or whatever I do

I just joined a slack channel at work called #health-n-wellbeing and it's just me and the CEO

Being a software engineer with over 5 years experience on LinkedIn gives me what I imagine to be a percentage of the experience of being A Woman on Any Social Media Platform and I'm grateful for a glimpse into that world.

"Fuck Yottam Ottolenghi, marry Meera Sodha, kill Anna Jones, you?"